Most people fear the regular things about running a business – cashflow, when their next job is going to come in, ongoing sales, but not me. Whilst of course it is a concern, it’s definitely not a fear. My greatest fear is GROWTH.
I don’t want what they’ve got
Weird I know, you’d think it would be every ones dream of running a business is to have staff and office space. Not me. It actually gives me cold sweats thinking about it.
Whilst I would never refer to myself as a ‘freelancer’, I still have no intentions of creating a web design agency super power. I don’t want the ping pong table, the water cooler or the shiny boardroom table.
For anyone following my journey, you’ll understand why. I have dipped my toes in that tepid pool before. I discovered pretty quickly it’s not for me. To me, going that path is essentially creating a job for myself, whilst a little more satisfying, it’s likely I would have a better life balance if I just went and got a job.
I have perfectionist tendencies. Whilst this could be seen as a positive trait for producing quality results, rest assured it is not when it comes to running your own business. There are just some things you need to let go.
So this fear of anti growth certainly has its pitfalls. At the end of the day it’s only me. I can do anything, but I can’t do everything. Trust me I’ve tried. Lots of balls in the air, and then the inevitable sudden thump as it all comes crashing down.
My resistance to get help also means my wait list also is just stupid, 3 months plus the time it takes to do the project is just too long for most modern businesses to wait. I’ve missed out on some amazing opportunities simply because I am too booked. I guess of all the problems to have it’s not a bad one but still it sucks when you really want to work with a particular client.
And because it’s just me, it’s scary for some businesses. The risk is too high. There is a lot resting on if I will deliver what I say I will. There is no one to pick up the slack, to help with the workload. What happens if, god forbid, I get hit by a car tomorrow? There is no company to come in and take over and finish the job.
Getting over the fear
I admit it’s not likely that I will get over this fear. Perhaps I need to turn it on it’s head. At the end of the day it’s not really a fear, it’s an intense desire not to head in a direction that is the path well travelled.
I will resist as much as humanly possible, I will wear myself out trying to squeeze something into every spare minute of my day. And then I will implode.
So that’s where we are at right now. The imploding point.
There comes a point (the imploding point), where something has to give. And unfortunately when it comes to running your business there are some things you don’t want to do, but you have to suck it up and get on with it.
So whilst I attempt to slow growth down, this is where I grab the fear by the horns and essentially ask for help. It’s time to learn how to delegate.
Is there something that is holding you back with your business?