I used to work for the ‘man’. I honestly never considered any other option.
After a life changing around the world adventure I returned to Australia where nothing had changed. 6 months, 12 countries, countless bus trips, a stolen laptop, a sprained ankle, a bout of swine flu, new friends and amazing memories.
Here I was a completely different person, and the world I had left behind was exactly as I left it. The feeling was surreal, I felt like I was walking in someone else’s nightmare.
It was at that moment that I decided I couldn’t bare to go back to a 9-5 cubicle job, the thought of it made me go into an anxious mess.
So with nothing to lose, and in the midst of the global financial crisis, I took the plunge and created my own business.
The dream was to be location independent, to travel more, to enjoy life and just be free.
The start was great and was exactly as I dreamed. I was earning the same amount of money as my old full time job but working part time hours, I worked whenever and wherever I wanted.
Then it got busier and instead of saying no, I took on everything. Before I knew it, 3 years had passed – I had an office, I had staff and I hadn’t had a holiday in 3 years.
I’d got so caught up in what every one else expected my business to become, that I forgot my original dream.
To be location independent, to travel more, to enjoy life and just be free.
I felt extremely trapped. Suffocated. Anxiety crept back in. It was at that moment that I decided I couldn’t bare what my business had become, so I paused.
With a heavy heart I decided it was time to let go of my staff, and the office. It was bittersweet. Whilst the ties that were holding me down were cut, the people I trained, nurtured and who had helped me grow my business were discarded.
I booked myself in for a holiday and barely a week into my holiday my grandfather passed away, so I came home. During the grieving process I think I just switched off from my business. My head, my heart, my every thing. I had disconnected, so I started looking for an escape route. Somewhere ‘safe’. A safe warm cubicle. A job.
I got the job and suddenly I was working 17 hour days trying to finish off all my old client work, on top of the 2 hour commute every day. It took about 3 months of this until I could finally breath. I was but a shell of my former self.
That girl that got off the plane, she was well and truly gone.
I admit at first I loved my cubicle job, I loved just showing up, I loved the bigger budget clients and cash flow wasn’t a concern. It didn’t take long for the hate to show up. I hated the red tape, the rules, the boundaries, the cubicle. I felt extremely trapped. Suffocated. Anxiety crept back in. As soon as that resentment surfaced the dream came up again for me.
To be location independent, to travel more, to enjoy life and just be free.
So I quit.
Of course there was a certain level of fear about going back to being my own boss. I’d told clients I didn’t love it anymore. In reality it wasn’t the work that I didn’t love, it was what I had inadvertently created for myself.
Now, I am on track, I work where I want. Travel is planned. Life is good. And my business no longer rules me, I rule it.
Now I have these words above my computer to remind me every day of my path.
To be location independent, to travel more, to enjoy life and just be free.
The biggest thing I’ve learned through this entire process is to stay true to your self. Don’t live someone else’s dream. No matter what form your business takes, how it evolves, as long as you stay true to your desires you will always be on track.
This article was originally posted in Issue #2 of ROOOAR Magazine – get your free copy now.